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Our tale begins with Victor Strate and Martin Caduceus, vandalizing the walls, books, computer files, and, well, everything else of Abrasion's office. After completing yet another Shrek homage on Abrasion's wall, Caduceus turned to Strate and said "Abrasion'll be pissed when he comes in and finds out what we drew on his walls in permanent marker." This worried Strate greatly. "Wait, you're using permanent marker? Shit. I need to call my guy, Rico. He… He cleans up messes, you know? This is right up his alley… Shit, how's he gonna get from Mexico to the Rockies this quickly? It's time for some object abuse, Cad."
"Well, how long do we have until Abrasion comes back?" Caduceus says, hands trembling at the thought of the thorough scolding he might receive. "I'd say… About a half an hour."